Prepare to fire up the... revised Jaguar XF

LIGHTS do a lot to define the look of a car.

Take the Jaguar XF. It's a handsomely-proportioned success story that's done an awful lot to bring one of Britain's favourite car makers up to date, but most pundits agreed that among its very few weak points were the clumsily-styled headlights, which were a bit of a let down after the sharply-sculpted ones which appeared on the original C-XF concept car which previewed the executive saloon.

It's obvious Jaguar secretly agreed, because after a mid-life facelift the big cat's finally got the nose it deserves, not only improving on the aesthetics of its immediate predecessor but also moving it closer to the look of the bigger XJ saloon, launched last year.

Don't think it's a case of a quick nip and tuck for the BMW 5-Series rival, though, because work's been going on beneath the Jaguar's bonnet too. For the first time there's now a 2.2 litre diesel engine, which makers Jaguar Land Rover reckon is going to account for the bulk of the freshly-revised XF's sales, along with a new eight-speed ZF automatic gearbox and an innovative Stop-Start system.

The XF might be - whisper it softly - related to the old S-Type beneath the skin but that's no bad thing, because with the latest facelift Jaguar's got a luxury car contender which is both modern enough to take on the competition and look good while its doing it.

The Life On Cars MGB GT: it's finally ready!

A CHAP in a very clean MK3 Cortina - better known as the star of time-travelling cop show Life On Mars - pulled up alongside me and was the first to ask the question.

Was this, the car I was filling up at my local branch of Esso, the MGB he'd read so much about in The Champion? Could the 1972 GT finally be ready, taxed, insured and MOT'd?

I could barely contain the smile. Yes, it's finally ready, it's on the road, and I can finally say what I think of it. Maybe it's just the sunny weather that's graced Southport for the last few days, but it's brilliant.

As a car it's got a completely different character to the Minis and hot hatches I'm used to; whereas they're permenantly fast-paced and frantic in everything they do, the low-slung B's a lazy, lusty old thing which is does few things better than burbling down the country lanes, taking it easy. It can go fast, but it'd really rather you didn't.

Nor is it, as the pictures above show, exactly a concours example of MG's biggest hit but the punters at the country pub I pulled into didn't seem to care. For all the not-quite-there cosmetics (which I've got plans for, don't worry), what was being paraded in front of them was a delicately proportioned, traditionalist sports car in a sunny colour scheme. The open-top Astra parked next to it didn't stand a chance.

The credit for all this has to go to my dad, who has worked tirelessly behind the scenes to get the B back on the road, doing all sorts of James May-esque mechanical things which I don't really understand. Naturally, he'd like the favour paying back in pints.

I wonder if Adnams will let me open a credit line with them?

Lotus takes on Lotus in world's most confusing car deal

THE Lotus vs Lotus rivalry that's hit racetracks around the world in perhaps the most confusing F1 name dispute ever has hit the road.

Anyone who's been following this year's F1 season will already know that thanks to some incredibly boring business tubthumping that Team Lotus, owner of one of the sport's most iconic names, is in direct competition with Lotus Renault, which is actually backed by the Brit sports car maker. All of which means that spectators at Silverstone in July can see, probably for the only time, two completely different cars from two completely different Lotus teams, which are both powered by Renault engines. Confused? Then you're going love the story's latest twist.

The first Lotus team, the one that isn't backed by Lotus, the car maker, has just announced that it's bought Caterham Cars, makers of the iconic Caterham 7 sports car, which is of course directly descended from the - wait for it - Lotus 7 of the Sixties.

Anyone who's ever seen not-at-all-kitsch Sixties TV hit The Prisoner will already know the original Lotus 7 as that dinky little two-seater Patrick McGoohan drove around in before being kidnapped and sent to a strange village which looks suspiciously like Portmeirion in North Wales. Lotus made it right up until 1973 before getting bored with it, and flogging the rights to what was then one their main dealers in Caterham, Surrey. The rebranded Caterham 7, thanks to constant redevelopment, has been a hit ever since.

Naturally, the company's new owners have decided to play up their motorsport links and immediately placed a Caterham in Team Lotus colours next to their F1 car, a move so evocative that they immediately decided to follow this up by offering customers a limited run of Team Lotus Special Edition Caterham 7s.

So what we've now got is a Lotus-designed, Lotus-coloured car made by a company now owned by a Team Lotus which will compete directly for your sports car cash this summer with the Elise, a Lotus-designed, Lotus-badged car made by Lotus, another car company which has given its support to another F1 team called Lotus.

Where will it all end? Probably, I imagine, in a high-flying court case, although if Lotus loses we could end up with the even weirder situation where Caterham is renamed Team Lotus Cars, and the choice of car for anyone keen on their driving boils down to whether you want a Lotus or a Lotus.

My head hurts. I may have to adopt the Lotus position to relax.

The Hillman story with a happy ending

A CLASSIC car owner has been reunited with his rare fuel filler cap after a Champion reader brought it to him after reading our piece in last week's edition.

Geoff Murray, from Lathom, said that a reader based in nearby Burscough had called at his home to give the fuel filler cap for his 1936 Hillman Hawk - one of just seven known to exist worldwide - after reading last week about the rare car component going missing at a nearby petrol station.

“I'm absolutely delighted that I've got the fuel filler cap, which is incredibly rare, back onto the car, so obviously the original article has paid off. I'd only had last week's Champion through my letterbox about five minutes earlier when a man called at the house with the fuel cap,” he said.

“He told me that he'd gone to the same petrol station that day, and as he was paying for his petrol his grandchildren found it, started playing with it and took it home, not realising what it was or how rare it is. He'd completely forgotten about it until he read the piece in last week's edition. If it hadn't been for The Champion, I probably wouldn't have seen it again.”

Last week Mr Murray appealed to Champion readers for their help in finding the filler cap for the 75-year-old car, which he had left at the petrol pumps and driven away by mistake on April 1.

He had resorted to using an emergency filler cap made from plastic but said that due to the rarity of the car, it was unlikely he would ever come across another example of the original chrome filler cap again.

Mr Murray bought the car, believed to be the only open tourer variant of the car in the world, in a partially-restored state in August last year, and showed it to members of the public in Banks earlier this month at the Riverside Steam and Vintage Rally.

Ride with me - to beat MND

We are celebrating our twelth year in the running of the Prestatyn Classic Car Show and hope that you can come along and join us.

This year we are trying something special, I have a close relative who is suffering from Motor Neurone Disease and we are trying to raise funds to fight this terrible disease.

We are hoping to set up a "Ride with me - to beat MND" stand where members of the public get the chance of a short ride in a Classic Car in exchange for a donation to MND.

We will of course need Classic Cars owners to volunteer their cars to be on standby should members of the public want to ride in them. Cars would need to be available for about an hour at some point between 11 and 2. Normal insurance will cover the situation as you are not taking fare paying passengers but it will cost you the price of any petrol that you use.

This idea has come from a Classic Car owner who took advantage of a similar scheme at this years Classic Car Show in Birmingham. Where she took a ride in a Morgan for a £20 donation.

I do hope that you can help as both my wife and sister in law have so far managed to raise over £7000 towards this Charity.

Please visit "My Brother Andrew"

My MGB: defeated by the Bank Holiday weekend

ANOTHER week, another reason why my MGB isn't on the road. Only this time, it's been defeated by the Bank Holiday weekend.

This time last week I was a happy chap. The very Seventies sports car had, after what had seemed like an eternity, finally passed its MOT with flying colours. A very dull trip to the DVLA's office up in Preston now meant that it was not only taxed, but taxed for nothing, on account of it being an historic vehicle. Even the cheapo classic car insurance was ready and rolling, meaning all I had to do was jump in, fire up the old girl and drive off into the sunset. Or rather I would have done were it not for the British Bank Holiday.

You see, the slight snag was that the MOT tester noticed it was leaking coolant, which last Thursday we finally traced to being caused by a water pump that may as well have been made of clay. Usually you'd just ring up the following morning, get a new one, and have it fitted an hour later. Unfortunately, the following morning was a Bank Holiday.

In fact, the only day when it wasn't a Bank Holiday was Saturday, when Partco is open for just a few hours in the morning, and, predictably, they didn't have one on the shelves. I don't blame them; would you keep obscure bits for a long-gone sports car in stock for the one idiot who needs them? The upshot is that - as I write this column - a job that should have taken half an hour is now into its fifth day.

This, as anyone who's ever used a Bank Holiday weekend as an excuse to tinker in the garage with their pride and joy, is the nightmare of having shops shut, and I expect with another four day weekend on the way a lot of stout chaps in boiler suits are going to find themselves, thanks to the Royal Wedding, right royally knackered.

Britain's cottage industry of nailing together things in sheds depends on Bank Holiday weekends, so having the shops which supply the stuff shutting for days on end is a nightmare. It's not just cars either; I imagine there must be millions of Handy Andys, Alan Titchmarshes and Fred Dibnahs, who despite finally being freed from their everyday jobs can't buy the bits for their hobby of choice.

I'm not asking for a religious holiday to be hijacked by rampant commercialism to keep some classic car owners happy. I just want my water pump on time.

An apology to the creators of the Triumph Stag

I'VE just realised I've made a cataclysmic cock-up.

Don't worry, Life On Cars service will continue as normal and I'm not about to see the inside of a libel court, but I realised today that I'd made a horrendous mistake with my list of the ten best looking cars of all time.

I'd forgotten about the Triumph Stag.

Regular readers might have already noticed I've got a bit of penchant for traditional British sports cars - I do, after all, own one - but despite my dreams of driving a TVR Griffith when the Champion Euromillions syndicate finally comes good the one model I have on my mantlepiece isn't one of those. It is, of course, a bright red example of Triumph's V8 roadster.

As a car it's always had a bit of a troubled history, which has a little bit to do with being built by British Leyland and a lot to do with the horror stories surrounding its 3.0 litre V8, which Triumph went to lots of expense and trouble just for that one car. The obvious choice would have been the freely-available 3.5 litre V8 available just down the road from their colleagues at Rover, but that's hardly the Triumph way.

If ever I were to buy a Stag I'd almost certainly go for one of the many that's been converted to run the Rover V8, not because it's any more reliable but because it just sounds a lot hornier. As these soundbites, I reckon, prove:

A Triumph Stag with the Triumph V8 fitted from new:

And a Triumph Stag with the meatier Rover V8 it should have been given:

But forget the much-maligned mechanicals and just take in those neat proportions, the Rostyle wheels and the Michelotti styling, which is the reason why it's one of the few 1:18 scale models I have that isn't packed into a box in my loft. It is a stunning, delicately-crafted and timelessly styled sports car, as good looking now as it was 40 years ago.

Anyway, that's my homage to one of the great British sports cars, and my way of making up for a mistake on my part. Won't happen again...